Life is but a glimpse of time. Snapshots of pleasure and pain circling back to back. We embrace the laughter and throw our fists at the sky in retaliation of anything otherwise. Sadly the good always shakes hands with the bad. It is our move forward between those stages that bring us growth in fulfillment.
Ah… what to type. I feel the creative juices laying stagnate and this post is hopefully the preverbal spoon I shall try to stir the pot as they say.
Now for a topic. Hmm… and my musical earbuds as my backbone are charging and I cannot listen to my symphonic manifesto which allows me to throw a match to the kerosene soaked papers wrapped in explosive commentary. I lay in ready mode.
I have nothing to stand behind now. Musical earbuds are fully charged and in place. Pandora has been mounted, playlist loaded… and the topic still eludes me. Is it my musical selections? Is it the placement of the keyboard, the glare of my monitor? No. Its me. My mind isn’t freed enough to withstand the primal pulse inside of me. Hey, perhaps THIS is my topic. The topic of a lack of a topic. Seems a bit anti-climatic and almost a bit sloppy. I guess we will see if this post makes the cut.
I need a connection. Something that I will allow to GET me. I have a lot of ideas about what to write about but see, I have a fatal writers flaw that I will now admit. I worry/care what others will think of me. There. I said it. Those who say that they don’t care one bit are a bit obscured in my opinion. If you really didn’t care even a little then you wouldn’t have adapted a certain set of characteristics that create your makeup you apply everyday subconsciously. My two cents worth. Anyways, I COULD write under a pseudonym and then both gloves are off. I wouldn’t have to worry what others thought, but that is just it. I don’t want to do that. I want writing to change me and I want to grow from it. To me what is the point of doing something creative and not reaping anything from it. It’s just a sedative to me then, like a lateral move, like listening to classical music for sleep and not for appreciation.
So here I sit. Pondering out of frustration.
Sometimes life isn’t what it is always worked for. Sometimes the energy placed forth-ed doesn’t equal the fruits of those labors. What does one do in that instance. Give up? Persevere? Retrace steps that led to the kerfuffle?
Poor choices for some, poor luck for others, and for those outsiders looking in, a skewed glimpse of alternate reality. No one will truly know unless those tattered shoes that were worn during have 2 sets of feet in them throughout that said journey.
Some say that the formula for “Comedy” is Drama plus Time. We all have to laugh or smile eventually when looking back on life’s experiences, although some are much harder then others. I believe we all have that inane ability to show progress through pain. Its the struggle with tunnel vision that I personally suffer from. Always looking at the steps to get where I want to be or what I want to become and getting held up thinking I am not strong, or smart enough. I loose focus and sadly, the prize.
Me? I always wanted to be a writer, among other things. Writing is a win win for me as I can see. It gets the words and phrases out of my head, reduces clutter, and creates progress in front of me. Line by line, word by word, and letter by letter. It may not be very well put together or full of literary prose but it’s mine. No one can take that away from me.
Being a parent is amazing and amazingly hard at the same time. Things that I have never had to experience, I have to walk thru a pool of water and fight the current and slowly move to try and explain to my children. Reaffirming to them that there are good in people. Still, when you watch the news and it almost unravels what you are trying to instill in your kids… its hard. But you keep going. You have to. There is no alternative. Part of teaching your kids are values. Of course the little things like how to shave, and how to use a hammer to strike a nail the correct way. Those are the easy things… the real issues are universal hate that some exercise. You find yourself saying that there are a lot of people who are just angry at how the world is being run. They are acting out because they want to be heard. They aren’t wrong. But some of their actions are. All I ask is that if those of you who decide to behave like this… do it peacefully. Still get your point that you are trying to make across but do in so that my kids don’t have to turn on tv and see the battery, the brutality. I know this post won’t reach you because I am just one father on a simple blog but please get along. Please don’t let the media fuel your hate.
You know I read something on a Facebook post a while ago and it really made sense to me.
Even if the outcome isn’t what you want it to be, Wishing that the president will fail is like people wishing that the pilot would crash, on a plane we are all passengers on.
Please take care of each other. Thank you.