Why is it that life shows you your weaknesses at that special time where you are so prone to humility. I look back on my life as everyone does… Have I accomplished  what I have set out while growing up? No, and yes. First off I have never been a planner. Yeah… I’m kicking myself every day for that life choice. I see now, looking back, I would have so much more discipline and strive. Things would get “done.” Not just completed but DONE, The D word with a breeze of finality to it. Now things just get pushed aside or sent to the “tomorrow” pile. Of course I don’t have that respect with everything I come across… but where do I draw the line. If I really break it down on a magnified degree, every life choice I make effects me, my children, and those around me. Life choices. Choosing to act or react.

ACTTake action; do something.

REACT – Respond or behave in a particular way in response to something.

So, how do I know when to ACT and REACT?

Life choices…

As I sit here in front of this computer I feel detached. I was in the mood to write this… this wonderful and thought provoking blog that would, not only show my creativity but also cause a pause of thought… and its lost. I now no longer want to type this. I am really seriously wondering WHY I even started this blog in the first place. I hate the doubting phase.

The only things that I know about myself are – I love my wife, and I am a dad that enjoys BEING a dad. I want what I I feel I was cheated out of growing up. That person that I craved attention from. Small things like the “right” way to mow a yard or how to go faster down a blistery hill in wintertime. I had to learn things like this on my own so, I always, and still to this day feel like I always have a delay to my learning. One person might get it the first time but I might be 3 years back still. I have always felt that ever since I could remember. I don’t blame the lack of a male parental unit for my misfortune, nor do I blame anyone for that matter. If anything its sculpted me to the form I am today. I was too young to understand at that time I needed someone to walk me thru life… but now I know how it feels and I have 100% advocacy in my children and their voice.

Advertisements